The below is a delightful work by a fan. JYJ3 provides the translation in full. Kick back, relax, and get ready to laugh tears ><.
A Sexy Comedy– The Chatter of Killer J’s
When I say “sexy comedy” I mean that the content is not sexy but that the appearing persons are. I was inspired by the work of 람쥐 nim of Kim Jaejoong Gallery (link here). (Thank you!)
Once upon a time, in a town named Gongju, a set of quadruplets was born. The day was a sweet day, on which rain of sugar fell from the sky and the clouds turned into cotton candy. The quadruplets shook the whole of the town since they were newborns with gasp-inducing beauty, and when it came time for them to go to elementary school, they were sent off to different parts of the world in order to redistribute such beauty. If you ask just what law mandates such a result—it does here. This is known as the “Share the Jae” theory.
Time passed… and the quadruplets, who had wrecked havoc in their respective towns with their beauty but for some reason had little earnings, again gathered in one place in order to save on rent. (This is what is known as the matter of adults.) It would’ve been nice if all the names shared a syllable or so, but for some reason, the names are all over the place. Their names were Ochna, Orchid, Chrysanthemum, Phyllostachys… Ah, just kidding.
The eldest: Muwon
In his own way, he is the director of the headquarters for a large corporation.
He was born only 3 minutes early but his brothers treat him as hyung no matter what and so he feels a bit tired.
He has said that he thinks he is ugly, and was beat up by his brothers who share his face.
The second: Sungsu
He is a salesman for a medical equipment firm.
It seems that from something he is bothered, but he won’t tell his brothers what.
The third: Jaejoon
Postman.
He is busy being in love.
Among the brothers who whine for their lack of a girlfriend, he is a hero.
The youngest: Changsik
Unemployed wannabe gangster.
If his face hadn’t been so pretty, he would’ve been buried in the mountains a long time ago.
Dream job: Mutt; Blowfly (T/N: play on the “ugly man” roles that Jaejoong said he wanted to play)
———————————-
However, they were not quadruplets for nothing, and their living patterns were similar. So they would receive an explosive water bill after crazily washing their faces only with water. They would also all cook and make a fuss about feeding each other but since they all had small stomachs they would pay a boatload for the ingredients but have leftovers. In the end, within two months of living together, their living expenses showed bottom. But a few days later, into the shared bank account that they all used for living expenses, a great deal of money poured in. Therefore the brothers assumed that the problem of their living expenses was fixed and began to live happily again. And when again the account neared its end, money was deposited. Just like that, the bank account was being re-filled over and over. They went on for a while, but one day—
“But eldest brother, why is your pay day so irregular?”
“What are you talking about?”
To Jaejoon’s question, Muwon who had been reading Korea Herald, an English-language newspaper, because he was the only one in the household who could, asked back, blasé.
“I mean the money in the bank account. Last time money came in on the 25th but this month it came in on the 17th, didn’t it?”
“But that’s not my paycheck…”
“Whaaaat?!”
At Muwon’s answer, the other brothers were also quite surprised.
“Wasn’t it that hyung deposited hyung’s paycheck?”
“It’s such a family-like company that they keep giving me stock instead of cash. I have no money.”
“Then whose money is it?”
Sungsu was bad at sales and so he could not make much money, and as for the tiny paycheck of a Postman, Jaejoon was “giving it all” to have dates with the luckiest girl in the world, Cho Hana. As for Changsik—his situation was such that if money wasn’t taken from him, he was lucky. Then, what was the source of the deposited funds?!
“Be honest. Who is it?”
“It’s you, isn’t it?”
“It’s hyung, isn’t it?”
“No… is it you, our youngest? You… you didn’t sell your organs (T/N: pronounced “janggi” in Korean) did you?
“I can’t even play baduk so how would I play janggi?” (T/N: “janggi” is also a word meaning a Korean game similar to chess.)
Changsik was hit by the Korea Herald.
Somehow, the situation was such that all were denying that they were the source of the funds. If you get to know them, they actually are quite stubborn, and so the situation continued until this round of living expenses ran out. Two days before the electricity was cut, the four were sensing, all of them without order, that someone would soon deposit the funds. The brothers, in agreement, installed a CCTV in front of a drawer that holds the card that accesses the bank account for living expenses.
The next morning-
The lens of the CCTV camera was shattered. Fortunately, the tape was preserved. The four dorks brothers who confirmed online that the living expenses were deposited took out the CCTV tape with beating hearts and pressed play. And then they saw…
“He has a gun!!”
“Who IS that?”
“A k…. killer?
The killer took out the bank card and firmly put down his bangs and fired his gun to shatter the lens.
This was the final cut of the tape.
But because the screen was dark one could not discern hair color, and also the face looks all the same and in any case one could not tell just who it was. We must be stupid T_T_T_T… (Correct). When they thought it through, they realized that even if the killer were to be captured on video again next time, it would be impossible to verify that it was the same person as this one. In fact, the brothers were such floppy dorks that they could not tell apart their own selcas and said good morning to the reflection in the mirror. Aw man, why do we look all the same and everything?!
When there was no resolution, the words escalated and the suspicion of each other grew—in the end, a fight broke out among the four.
“It’s you, isn’t it?”
“It’s hyung, isn’t it?”
“It’s hyung, I know it!!”
“It’s you!”
“Changsik, you… you’re now touching guns…”
“No way!!”
In any case none of the brothers was very fast and so the fight did not get very big, but since their punch-power was 4000 it did hurt. After they had a good fight, the quadruplets became miffed at each other. The culprit of the incident of burning down the town farm when they were young and playing with matches is still a mystery… there was a witness but because the four looked exactly the same one could not point a finger to anyone. The brothers who were reminded of this incident broke again into a fight.
“It’s you, isn’t it?”
“It’s hyung, isn’t it?”
“It’s hyung, I know it!”
“It’s you!”
“Sungsu-hyung, put your bag down!!”
No matter who looks at it, the living expenses are the fruits of a crime. But what is important to these brothers were not that but rather just who is the person who is earning the money. It seems that it is that they want to show some intense thanks and love to the person. Indeed, the identity of the fairy-killer of this house is…?!!!
In fact, before this fight began in earnest, the brothers were talking about raising a cat in the house. For them to conclude their discussion and bring a cat home, they must first make up, but since they were miffed making up was impossible but they want to quickly bring a cat home…
The four brothers were deep in worry. (Hey, before that, I tell you it’s a crime…;;)
Hoping that the brothers would understand such a heart, he breathes a sigh the window and carefully writes— c.a.t.
HAHAHAAHAHA If only there were really four Jaejoong’s….the world might become overpopulated though…..
So Jaejoong’s quadruplets would be like some sort of “Junta Momonari”; Masakazu Katsura’s manga and anime DNA2 main character, “playing love” with all the beautiful girls and leaving lots of babies around the world.
yeah, live will much happier if Jaejoong has 3 twins. Even the gangster one looks sexy, hahaha…..
Hmmm I’ll say at least two of them would probably the Jaejoon (postman jj) and the gangster Jaejoong. Or there could be jae-napping involved cats held hostage for the release of one of the Jaejoong to the public.
HAHA!! So funny! Thank you!! 😀
Didn’t quite understand the ending though…. >_>
lol….so creative..
Hahahha…..thanks for the early post. Enjoy it so much.
¡Hey baby! ¿Enjoying Jae’s quadruplets? That would be an adequate solution for us.
Yeah girl, no more fight. One Jaejoong for each one of us *wink*
ummm …..then can I have the third Jaejoon please ? (even if he has a girl) ….pretty please …
i would go for the second eldest~ Sungsu! that salesman is such a hottie ^^
Ok, our Ninja Squadron is ready to fight for Jaejoong’s quadruplets, and I guarantee no one will be left alone.
Lmao… Cannot stop laughing…. This is adorable. On a side note.. The 4 pictures above made me realize just how much he has grown from the pretty boy he was :))
cant be enough JJ’s 😀
LOL,what’s the final truth? Is the cat family provider?
Oh,I can’t help laughing out!!
But I’m in the office.
Such a cute story, I cracked up when I read the “Share the Jae” theory part! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
it’s a great story..very amusing..^^..but i didnt understand the ending.. was the killer Kim Jaejoong??..he’s the one that has been depositing money all along..??..because the only person who would look like them, has a cat and is also a sexy killer would be…KIM JAEJOONG!!.. lol..i’m so thoughtful..
OMG! That could also be it! But if he wants a cat….wouldn’t he have to live in the house to enjoy the cat and therefore have to be one of the 4 brothers?
*headache*
..you may be right..XD..i never thought of that lol..
oops..this is in reply to D_only1…btw..lol..forgot to press the reply button..
The one who wrote c.a.t on the window is the “culprit” but I don’t know who he is. They all look the same!!!! Damnit!!!! Anyways I was confused at the end but I read it again and the “Jae” who breathed on the window wished for his brothers to understand why he has “such a heart” and so he wants them to let go of the anger and get along again so that they can get a cat.
At least I think that is what it means. Very cute story! JYJ fans are creative indeed.
4 Jaes……..
O__________________O
WANT.
I love gangste Jae.
Bwhahahaha. This is totally funny. Since erm, sexy Mr Killer looks like the quadruplets, can I assume he’s actually their long lost sibling and their are actually quintuplets and not quadruplets as they know???? Look forward to the continuation. LMAO, all 4 brothers are dork, even Muwon, LOL
four jaejoongs…. sounds yummy… and i am getting outa here before i get deleted from the face of the WHOLESOME earth… hahahahahah~!!!!
i love fanfics no matter what…. *writer me happily hops away*
^________________________^
If only we can clone Jaejoong 🙂
Thanks for sharing this story, hope to read more. Very creative fans.
好搞笑啊,不过本人英语烂的很,没有在线翻译根本不行~~四胞胎是不~~能让我带走一个不???
hahaha! it’s hilarious. My lunch time filled with laughter.
Thanks Candy for making me laugh and Lovely Adminie for sharing ^___^
about Muwon:
“He has said that he thinks he is ugly, and was beat up by his brothers who share his face.”
that sentence really made me laugh out loud xDDDDD
also also:
“In fact, the brothers were such floppy dorks that they could not tell apart their own selcas and said good morning to the reflection in the mirror.” LMAAAAO
i lol-ed at those parts too xDDD oh the problem of being humble but have 3 identical brothers xDD
what’s the ending? is there a sequel? =DDD this is so funny xD
This is EPIC! ;-D can i have Muwon? Please!
4 Jaejoong!!!! This is like a perfect world XD
The story is pretty funny …aah~ I’m so proud of our fandom ! ^^