FAN ACCOUNT 1:
Note: I wrote the account already immediately after the FM but needed to change it because at this point I knew.. that the stories of what happened, tweet translation of what he has said, and all the important gist of the FM has been made available.. So I’d take this chance to make this entry a FanDiary than a FanAccount.. Finally, I gave up the grammar check LOLL it’ll take me forever..
Nov. 3, 2012 Indonesia
Living like a Dream.. yup perfectly sums up that 3hours of Jaejoong moment I just had..
I can’t believe that a time will come that i’ll be doing my own fan account and not be reading someone else’s experience.. I am probably writing a long one here so congratulations to those who’ll manage to finish reading this piece till the end LOLL! Fighting!! (and mianhe)
Jaejoong came in sick.. never spoke throughout the FM and just typed his answers with an IPAD.. He really looks sad, probably also a little worried on how fans will take the program changes..I also believe he is very apologetic that he cant be in his best condition… The MC was telling him that he can do it all and he is admirable.. Immediately he shakes his head and gestured no.. then he wrote that he is a flawed man for not being able to talk and sing today.. also the translator read his handwritten apology letter saying the same thing..
And there i prayed that his concerns fade away as the hours passed.
We know Jaejoong.. he always gives his best in everything he do (a trademark that we love about JYJ). Not being able to give his best self today is something I think he is regretting (my perception) .. but .. we wanted to reassure him that as long as he gets well fast.. we can take whatever there is and it’ll be enough..
I was conflicted seeing him..I want him to just stop and go rest.. but thinking that he came in here to complete a promise to his fans only show why Jaejoong is Jaejoong.. its something he had to do because he is a man who keeps his promises.. so the best we could do is to cheer him on and show our smiles hoping that he will not be longer burdened by the thought that he disappointed the fans who waited for him there..
1. Teaser showing for Jackal
2. Favorite scenes in Dr. Jin ( dang! I really can’t take seeing the towel guy-Dr.. who hammers skulls in every freaking episode, if not for Jae..)
3. Favorite scenes in PTB (he smiled a lot at the MCs question in this section..)
4. Fans sang Living Like a Dream for him.. The MC told him that Jae is always the one singing for us.. now its our turn to sing for him.. He clapped after we sing the whole song, but he didn’t manage to look at the crowd while we did that.. I cant predict what he was thinking at this point.. It’ll be a mystery that I hope he’ll be able to talk about someday…
5. Fanmade video! he watched it intently.. and the only message we wanted him to know is that We love him and we’ll protect him.. KJJ_INA did the video really nice.. thumbs up!
6. Finally, the high five and group photo session.. (ahhh am so conflicted here.. because obviously this wouldn’t have had happened if he was healthy.. we all able to touch his hand at the expense of not hearing that beautiful voice of his live).. will talk about this more later…
I was fortunate to be seated in one row with people I knew most from twitter.. this help me understand some of his answers because they were being translated to me.. But the most amazing thing about it is that I get to share the experience with people whom i may have not known if not for JYJ.. different culture, religion, age and background.. who would have thought that i’d met these people like i’ve known them for so long..
I was seated at the Elephant area (9th row). the Kitty seats seems to be the first 3 Rows but, since they are not fully taken, there was a little commotion when some people from the Elephant section moved closer and sat on the kitty.. me and a friend also initially moved when that happened.. but in the end we decided to go back to our original seats.. others did as well, but some didn’t went back so the arrangement kind of changed in my area..however, I think the heavens rewarded me a little for deciding to be honest and for me trusting the works of fate .. and that is.. to sit beside The Kim Jaejoong during the photo session!!!!!!
We lined up waiting for our turn near the stage. I already had the gut feel that we will be in front row but it happened so fast that when they guided us there.. I am standing in front of the red chair beside of the blue chair (where Jaejoong will be sitting).. And what I first did is look up and said.. “God really??? is this really for me??? ” .. This is the very first JYJ event i attended and I was shaking already thinking about how few minutes from now I get to be in the same freaking spot as he is.. I look at my friends because I want to share the moment .. but believe me am starting to be drowned by all sorts of emotion..
And then there he was being escorted by the hot security oppas (LOLL) that think I saw an angel LOLL. He is glowing not only because he is a handsome man.. but he is glowing with determination.. he asked for this and hell it is tiring to walk back and forth when you are sick, but he is enduring..all i can feel is a mixture of admiration and pride.. this is the guy i wouldn’t be shy to brag about.
I’ll be honest his face was not so vivid to me.. I didn’t had enough time to remember the patterns in his face (LOLL this sounds obsessive I had to look in the camera.. I want to say a lot of things like Thank You, I love you, .. but nothing came out.. I was basically shaking.. I tried to make a peace sign but my hands are shaking like crazy that I had to abandon the thought.. the friend beside me shouted I love you and he bowed .. and I was like dang.. why I can’t say anything now … time is ticking.. and shot is about to be taken.. I don’t know what happened but the only thing vivid to me is the feel of his shoulder and arms .. I was slightly push to lean to his side that I felt his side next to mine… i tried not to squeeze him so I just lightly am feeling my arms in his arms (okay i need water) .. I realize this is the guy I want to be my best friend.. he feels warm, surprisingly soft.. his aura is gentle and accommodating.. ughh seriously.. I would want to remember his eyes but right now all i remember is how that arms feel.. *head on desk*
I forgot everything else.. that when I did the high five I wasn’t also able to look him to the eye.. he basically stares at every face.. 2000 people he touched.. literally.. I came down and friends were running congratulating me.. I screamed like a mad woman ahaha.. I didn’t care if I looked like lunatic.. I held my breath long enough that if I didn’t let it out I might not be able to get home ahah (and yes there were fangirls being lifted by stretchers)
After that we sat and watch JJ endure the event.. He never lost the smile, the enthusiasm.. he smiled and handshake fans seating on the puppy area (farthest) as diligently as he did for the ones in the Kitty.. We watch him from our seats and we were like.. “shouldn’t they just cut it and just make excuses that he is tired” , “is he crazy” , “he will really do this for everyone”.. we waited.. if its tiring for us sitting and watching him.. what more it is for him..
Then I realize how bless i am..Not for the opportunity to touch him but for the opportunity to see his diligent spirit.. I wish I could have heard his voice live and feel the goosebumps.. but then .. this experience is also giving me goosebumps..
I am proud of him..
I am also proud of the fans in general.. there was a time that JJ was sighing and seems to be blinking his dizziness but the fans shouted “KIM JAEJOONG , KIM JAEJOONG” to cheer him on.. I realized this is what the fans should be doing.. let him do the things he wanted to do and help him reach the finish line by cheering him on and giving him the encouragement.. we should’t fall into the trap of entitlement .. we sometimes tend to think that our protectiveness gives us the right to tell them what they should do, how and when.. but you don’t do that to the people you love.. they say when you love, you allow yourself to be the wind beneath their wings and just let them get hurt, learn and grow.. become better people with each memory and experience.. and today both Jaejoong and the fans did that for each other..
To say this is a memorable day is an understatement.. I am confident that this can compete to as one of the most memorable fanmeet the fandom have seen.. To be part of it is surreal. And more than the mixed feelings of joy and worry, i have learned a lot from everything that happened today. My two eyes saw and my heart felt the determined spirit Jaejoong has and how he love his fans so much..Its not anymore a second hand story,, its now a personal knowledge and for that am grateful.. I am also grateful to the Indo fans. because at least from my area.. there was no complaining or frowning.. it was generally concern for Jae, the guy who shined the brightest that night ^_^
Oohhh and to end the experience.. we saw JJ in the airport going home.. and there I made sure I’d memorize his face so I could go home without anymore regrets ^_^
FAN ACCOUNT 2:
gosh what can i say? i didn’t even know whether i could make it to Jaejoong’s fanmeet on Saturday due to clashed time with a cousin’s wedding. so i was estatic when i got the green light an hour before the event started! whilst on the way friends were updating me about his condition and i felt a little upset. but knowing that he was gonna shake our hands & take group pics lifted mood up a little keke
the fanmeet started an hour late as expected from cjes, and gosh when JJ came to stage he looked much thinner than last time i saw him in Seoul this year. he really didn’t speak a word, using ipad as a communicator tool the whole time during talk segment.it kinda broke my heart since his poker face was on during the whole time, he barely smiled & i’m guessing he’s holding back the pain from his flu >___< during Living Like A Dream fans sang for him & MC said he was facing his back at us during the whole time cuz he didn’t want us to see him in pain. the cameramen caught his expression for a while though and he looked terribly sad. gosh those beautiful eyes just speaks a thousand words.
Jaejoong’s mood changed for the better when the hi-five segment started. i think interacting with his fans directly cheered him up since we were so enthusiastic especially since i’m guessing there’s a lot of first timers to see him ^__^ truth be told i was worried about him the whole time, afraid he might faint or something cuz he went back & forth from the photo taking spot to hi-five spot AT LEAST 50 times. but he’s a lot stronger than he looks, thus despite the light fever he’s having he struggled on to fulfill his promise T_T MC & staff kept telling him over & over again to hi-five but it’s Jaejoong himself who insisted on shaking hands gosh i love this guy sfm T_T
When it was my turn to shake his hands, he was smiling *_* his hands were so soft. despite this being my 7th time seeing him, my impression of him never changes. the living doll, so very fair & beautiful even in sickness he still shines. i was surprised media picked our group photos to be featured in various articles XDD i’m on his furthest left side the one in pink dress looking at him retardedly instead of the camera =__= but since it’s my 2nd photoshoot with JJ i’m gonna live with it lol /gets bricked
our cute Kitty cards
Thank you for your professionalism Jaejoong, for another memorable night & for being our inspirations! GET WELL SOON ♥thank you for your professionalism Jaejoong, for another memorable night & for being our inspirations! GET WELL SOON ♥